Jamie Magee is sharing some of Embody with A Chick Who Reads today. Check out the excerpt!Embody
I couldn’t breathe. A sickening sensation slowly began to creep through every part of my body, and the room seemed to be spinning out of control. Impossible - isn’t it? How can this be possible? I thought to myself as I stared at the image of me and Drake in the black and white photo. I ran my fingertips across the singed, tattered edges and trembled as the memory of the first time Drake was alone with me played before my eyes...he said he had seen me love him; I thought he meant in his mind, not in real life. I sighed, remembering his warm, mesmerizing touch, and a chill ran down my spine as the dark images he showed me came to life again.
“Willow, you better calm down...Landen will come in here,” Olivia said.
I looked to the window; Landen and Chrispin were playing football with little Preston, and Libby was cheering them on from our porch. Landen and I can now use each other’s gifts as our own, and he was sure to feel my panic, my fear. As my eyes landed on him, he froze in mid-play and looked in my direction. I walked over to the window, smiled, and pushed my fears away so he would think I was OK. As he fought with his natural instinct to protect me, he hesitated at first, then finally nodded and resumed playing the game.
I turned and walked slowly back to the table and looked down at the photo. An eerie sense of déjà vu haunted me as I stared at the images from long ago. I could have never loved him - could I? The past months came rushing through my mind: the day Drake had found me at the lake, our fight in the string, and finally, the moments he held me, shielded by a white glow. Until now, I had let myself relish in victory – but I was a fool...this was not over.
I felt Clarissa’s intent to see me, her emotion moving closer to my front door. In a panic – wanting to hide any evidence that connected me to Drake Blakeshire - I grabbed the photo and ran to the stairs. Stunned by my sudden outburst, Olivia chased after me.
“Where are you going?” she asked.
I nodded my head to the open door that Clarissa was about to walk through. Olivia then turned and saw her walking toward my front porch. “Wait,” Olivia yelled. “Clarissa was with me when I found the photo; she already knows.” By the time she finished her vain attempt to comfort me, though, I was already at the top of the stairs. I then turned, looked down at Olivia, and swallowed hard, assuming they had told Chrispin and Dane.
“Just us,” Olivia said, cautiously climbing the stairs, not trusting any reaction I may have.
Hearing Olivia’s promise, Clarissa stepped shyly through the threshold. She gave Clarissa a guilty glance, then motioned for her to follow us. I turned and crossed the open hall to the room I’d turned into my studio; two walls were all windows, large doorways led to the second story porch, and blank canvases lined the white walls. I shuffled my feet across the floor and opened the doors to let the fresh air in; I needed to breathe...it felt like the world was closing in around me.
“I guess you showed her,” Clarissa said as they caught up to me. Olivia nodded; I could feel her regret.
“Where did you find it?” I said under my breath.
Clarissa walked over to me and put her hand on my shoulder. “We told your mother we would bring back things that were salvaged each time we went to Franklin. We were packing boxes up when an envelope fell over. That photo fell out.”
“It doesn’t mean anything,” Olivia said, walking to my side.
“I just don’t see how it’s possible...how this could be real?” I said, looking down at the photo in my hand. Drake’s image was breathtaking - perfect in every way - and my image could not be happier to be at his side. A sick feeling rose and settled in the back of my throat, and I struggled to remain calm – to fight back the emotions that would send Landen to my side.
“It’s a photo; it doesn’t represent a life with someone. It...it could have been taken before you found Landen,” Clarissa said, rubbing my back while trying to hide the lie in her voice. She knew, like I did, that somewhere in time...I loved Drake.
I wanted to hide behind her lie and believe that I’d only loved Landen, but the sickening feeling was growing more unbearable...I knew that it wasn’t true. I nodded to give them peace, even smiling a little to hide my raging emotions beneath a calm surface.
“You haven’t told Dane and Chrispin, have you?” I questioned.
They both said no at once. They knew that lying to me was useless; I had almost mastered Landen’s insight, and I could only see truth as they spoke.
“Chrispin doesn’t need another reason to hate Drake,” Olivia said, feeling remorseful.
Chrispin had lost his father, Livingston, by Drake’s hand. The salt in the wound was when we all learned that Drake was one of Livingston’s sons, tying Drake to all of us by blood.
“And Dane is just as eager to hate Drake,” Clarissa added.
Dane’s vengefulness was for the nightmares I’d endured. Honestly, everyone yearned for retaliation for the painful images that had haunted me through childhood.
“So what do I do with this?” I asked.
“Forget it,” Olivia said, taking the photo from me and ripping it into small pieces. “Look, we all think Drake is going to come back one day - we just didn’t want him showing up and throwing this in your face,” Olivia finished.
“We thought if you knew in advance, he wouldn’t be able to play with your mind...we were only trying to give you an advantage.” Clarissa added
“I’m glad I did show you. Downstairs, you looked weak when you saw it,” Olivia said, putting the small pieces of the photo in her pocket.
Their twisted logic almost made sense. My only problem now was finding a way to forget before Landen read it all over my face.
“I brought some stuff from my house, too; there are some photos of Monica. Do you want any?” Olivia asked.
I nodded and followed them downstairs. Through the window, I could see the guys still playing a demanding game of touch football. Olivia opened the box she had brought with her, then handed me a photo of me and Monica at the lake last summer. She was so full of life; I didn’t think I would ever move past the grief I felt when her memory surfaced. Olivia laid out a few other photos from our senior year, then walked over and hugged me.
“I have to go. I promised your mom I would drop these boxes by before dinner,” she said.
“Wait, I’ll help you,” Clarissa said. Before she left, she looked at me and said, “Willow, really, forget the past; don’t let it hurt your present.”
I nodded as they left, then slid further down into the chair. As I stared at Monica’s photo, everything I’d faced over the past few months – all the emotions I’d felt as my world was turned inside out – consumed me. The walls seemed to close in around me. I imagined my future: another huge ordeal, my family and friends put in harm’s way...my mind spun as I took in the awe of a past I couldn’t remember. I needed to get away. I abruptly sat up in my seat and pushed back from the table, then went to the hall closet and pulled out mine and Landen’s travel bags, which carried four changes of clothes and currency for different dimensions. I was setting them by the front door when I felt Landen walking in the back door. I then looked down the hall and saw him hesitating at the table as he looked over the photos. I felt his remorse as he saw Monica’s face. In a way, I was glad I had left those photos out; I knew that he would not ask me why I was upset earlier - he would just assume it was over her.
Landen walked slowly up the hall, tossing the football casually from hand to hand. His intense blue eyes landed on the travel bags at my feet, and I knew he could feel my intent to run. Seeing how certain my intent was, he tucked the ball under his arm. I felt him fighting with the urge to ask me what Olivia and Clarissa had told me. He forced a calm smile, bringing his perfect dimples to life.
“Are we going somewhere?” he asked playfully. I sighed and nodded, looking down and knowing that if I looked into his eyes, his calm would take me over and I would find a way to stay. I wanted to run – to run away with him.
“I don’t care where. I just need to get away, just me and you” I said in a pleading whisper.
Author info:
0 comments:
Post a Comment